Human speech is directly responsible for almost every thought and emotion we have throughout life's journey. The complexity of language and the complex messages we use it to communicate leave the possibilities wide open for just about anything. Among other things, people can say things that are funny. We pay good money to see comedians say funny things, and a lot of them come through. But due to the nature of the human comic sense, the deliberateness of a comedian can dilute the potential for humor.

This page features humor that bypasses that. The humor here is, for the most part, unrehearsed and unintentional. Hundreds of quotations are listed. There are lines spoken by people intending to say something else. There are lines spoken by people who misunderstood something or other. They may or may not have known any better. The intricacies of human language may have fouled them up, or perhaps unfortunate slips of the tongue led them to ignominy. Whatever the case, there's a lot to laugh at.

Banff National Park:

• "Is that food coloring in the lakes?"

• "When did you build the glaciers?"

• "How much for a moose?"

• "Where are the igloos?"

• "How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the Elk Crossing signs?"

• "At what elevation does an elk become a moose?"

• "Are the bears with collars tame?"

• "Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?"

• "Is it ok to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?"

• "Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?"

• "Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?"

• "How far is Banff from Canada?"

• "What's the best way to see Canada in a day?"

• "When we enter British Columbia, do we have to convert our money to British pounds?"

• "Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don't they?"

• "Are there phones in Banff?"

• "So it's eight kilometers away. Is that in miles?"

• "We're on the decibel system, you know."

• "Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?"

• "Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?"

• "Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?"

• "Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?"

• "If I go to British Columbia, do I have to go through Ontario?"

• "Do they search you at the British Columbia border?"

• "Are there birds in Canada?"

• "I saw an animal on the way to Banff today. Could you tell me what it was?"

• "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" / "'Elk.'" / "Oh."

• "Where can I get my husband really, REALLY lost?"

VACATION!! boy oh boy i love spending time with my family...

haha

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so i got up at 9 this morning and went to alexs house at 10:45 . it was fun hanging out with her. we didnt really do a whole lot but after i left i went to go get my check. i finally got paid today! then i went home. im prolly gonna call alex later because i want to so if u dont like it hit the fucking x button on ur upper right hand corner. thanks. have a great day